We're finally becoming addicted to the Desperate Housewives drug that everyone has urged us to try. Much of that fever is Mehcad Brooks-related; we've
stalked chatted him up for months and are quite pleased to see the that he and touchy-feely mom Alfre Woodard are much more than accessories to their Wisteria Lane neighbors. EP Marc Cherry has given the Applewhites a killer storyline (haha) and we're quite pleased that he and the gayish producers are keeping Mehcad's pecs front and center.
Now let's talk about the show. Some recaps and/or spoilers below.
Last season, Alfre Woodard warned that her storyline would be even more suspenseful and so far, she's proving to be right. Her character Betty Applewhite is a real piece of work; apparently she and Matthew are keeping her husband chained in the basement. What did he do wrong—forget to lower the seat?
The hubby/father—if that's who he is—has been making lots of noise. (People who are chained and incarcerated tend to do that.) Too much noise. Nosey-azz Susan Mayer decides to ask her new neighbors about the racket.
Susan: What are those strange clanging noises?
None of your business, beyotch.Oh, Matthew and I are doing some handiwork.
Unfortunately for Betty, pecalicious Matthew—who is supposed to be doing the "handiwork"—saunters up the street, says hello to nosey Susan and mommie dearest, and walks inside. Hmmm.
Keep moving. There's nothing to see here!
Having a noisy prisoner in your fully finished basement just won't cut it on Wisteria Lane. (In Brooklyn, no one would care; in Chelsea, the neighbors would think the noise was rough sex and ask for an invite.) Betty has a bright idea to keep him quiet. She visits a shrink to get a prescription for some tranquilizers.
Take two of these and DON'T call me in the morning
Back at Casa del Applewhite, mommie dearest prepares her prisoner a gourmet meal: scalloped potatoes, green beans and chicken a la valium. "That should keep him quiet." Memo to Rod 2.0 readers: Do not invite this woman to Wednesday potluck.
A few other things are going on outside the Applewhite household. Bree is going crazy because Rex's mother is crying every few minutes (send her to Betty!) and Carlos is finding that life behind bars ... well, sucks. A fellow inmate is squeezing him for money, and now Carlos wants Felicity to give seven grand to the inmate's "girlfriend" so she can get a boob job. Two reactions: 7k for a new pair of tits is on the cheap end, so it sounds like a good deal. But what man will buy his girl some new ta-tas ... and won't be able to check 'em out? Oh well, maybe Carlos will have to suffice.