What was Orlando Jones doing on 'Martha Stewart'? Why was he covered in glitter? What is Rob Estes looking at? This is important: Why was Orlando's shirt tied up Ellie Mae Clampett-style to reveal pink boxers and abs of steel?
Caption this capture! It's your chance at winning a (free) copy of Cassandra Wilson's newest release, thunderbird. On Monday, we choose the best captions. Taking a lead from Orlando, get in touch with your feminine side and feel free to be as bitchy creative as you dare. Just limit your captions to one or two lines that Martha, Orlando, and/or Rob would say.
Until then, take a look-see-listen to thunderbird. Cassandra's sexy, velvet-smooth vocals and jazzy compositions have earned her recognition as one of the country's leading singers. The CD hits the shelves on Tuesday but thanks to Cassandra and Blue Note Records, we have limited copies for giveaway. Look for more contests in the coming weeks, including Brokeback Mountain giveaways.
(Thanks Miu for the inspiration!)
Orlando: Y'all notice she didn't comment on my look today?
Martha: I just got out of prison, I've seen worse.
Posted by: taylor Siluwé | 01 April 2006 at 11:20
ROB: Is his dick also covered in glitter.
MARTHA: Oh yes. It's a good thing.
Posted by: patrick s | 01 April 2006 at 11:34
Martha: See? If you get down really low like that and keep your eyes on the prize, it won't splash all over you!
Rob: Wow! So that's what you learn in prison?!?
Orlando: Hell naw! But if you're good, I'll teach you a couple of things!
Posted by: Lo | 01 April 2006 at 13:07
Orlando: "Hrrrp me. Mm stuck."
Martha: "Okay, this happens sometimes with glue and glitter. Just apply a little baby oil here, and here. -- Oh shit, Rob, my shoes!!" (Whack!)
Posted by: Mark | 01 April 2006 at 15:46
ROB: Aren't they supposed to be larger?
MARTHA: Maybe he's a grower and not a shower.
Posted by: rob | 01 April 2006 at 15:47
Martha: And that is how you add some glitz with glitter! But you know gentlemen, as the saying goes, all that glitters isn't gold!
Orlando: Yeah, you right about that. I was dating this girl once who I thought was wifey material, but it turned out she was only a gold digger.
Rob: From the looks of it, she probably figured she was digging in the wrong field.
Orlando: But at least my shovel is big enough to plow through any field I want! Catch it.
Posted by: Virginia Slim | 01 April 2006 at 19:38
MARTHA: Don't panic... at the count of three you just go for it... ok? Wait, lemme go first.
Rob: No. I can handle this.
Orlando: Should I let them blow me?
Posted by: david | 02 April 2006 at 01:20
Martha: Oh Rob, that is excellent technique. So, you don't use your teeth?
Posted by: Pip | 02 April 2006 at 11:00
On an upcoming episode of Martha Stewart Living, Martha invites clueless celebrities for "Metrosexual Makeovers". Pretty boy Rob Estes stops by to help with the transformations (show here, ensuring Orlando Jones' socks match his boxers). Asked whether her new focus will alienate fans, Martha replied "Oh, not at all. The success of Brokeback Mountain has brought a new, male fanbase to my show. Even the straightest, unattractive man can embrace his inner homosexual."
Posted by: j. brotherlove | 02 April 2006 at 16:49
Martha: This reminds of that episode of "Silk Stalkings" you did Rob when that tranny crack whore was trying to get you to massage her/his bunions.
Rob: Yeah... but unlike Orlando... she had her stuff tucked. Look it's peeking out of the cuff of his pants.
Orlando: Look bitch I didn't pack any briefs. Martha you have any tape handy?
Posted by: michaeliv | 02 April 2006 at 20:31
Martha: "And finally with a little glitter, you can turn any Black person into a Michael Jackson Clone." "Give it a try Rob."
Rob: "I see. And the Off the Wall version was a good choice for Orlando's nose!"
Posted by: mr | 03 April 2006 at 10:33
Orlando: See folks at home, this is how you make bitches, beg. Pull my finger, Rob.
Martha: Rob, make sure your knees face the correct way on this mat.
Posted by: TeKay | 03 April 2006 at 11:01
Rob: Umph, umph, upmh--bitch, what's the degaga?!
Martha: Oh--been there, done that. Ain't no T there.
Orlando: Then why was you screaming like a sistah in church? Whatevah--you just mad I'm prettier in pink than you are, okaaay?
Posted by: Kam | 03 April 2006 at 11:31
Rob: Ok, let's make this part of him a little bigger.
Martha: Should that part of the drawing be that BIG?!!!
Orlando: While they figure out the right size, we'll take a commercial break.
Posted by: Mark Norris | 03 April 2006 at 16:22