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14 April 2009

Comments

FQ

"That's because unfortunately it's all-too-common in the black community to taunt and harass young boys who do not act like thugs."

THANK YOU ROD!
THANK YOU FOR SAYING THE TRUTH!

I have said it before and will say it again. The priorities of our African American community are horrible. We discount education and learning ... and glorify stupidiity and violence.

This young boy could grow up to be the Obama of his generation.

SHAME!

Patrick S

...He was 11 years old, and he wasn't aware of his sexuality....

So true. At 11 and 12 years old, kids were already teasing me, calling me gay and fag, all those names, I had no idea what they were talking about. So true and so cruel.

Antwan

im so pissed right now how could this happen the children need to learn diversity. i was just opposed of saying anything in the educational system but this draws the line. he was 11 for crying out loud!

Hendly

Rod....

Carl Joseph Walker Hoover story is not 'sexy' or will guarantee you hits. But you have stayed on it and have just testified some important truth. For that you have my respect.

This mother deserves several gold medals and her place in heaven. Thank you, Mother Walker. And bless you and your son.

King Drive

WWJD?

He wouldn't condone harassment and bullying of a child, you can be sure of that.

And yes! Our community does have many priorities wrong. Except many of us will not say it.

Chris Cruz

Well the true irony of course is that in a few years in high school, if he played sports, was a star athlete and went to church he would be the idol of the community. "Young God fearing Christian man" and all that.

And how sad is it that we label kids who go to church 'gay' and then later the church teaches them to hate gays?

Donnie Clarkson

Oh so are you saying blacks are more homophobic now? Rod you have been the loudest voice saying that not true...

S. Flemming

I don't think he is saying blacks are more homophobic. However, as a black man who was taunted and bullied for being a trouble-free good student before he was aware of his sexuality, what Rod says is true. It's not an issue of sexual orientation but an issue of the way black men are conditioned to think about achievement as it relates to how tough you are, gay or not.

But what I wonder is what his classmates are thinking right now ... or if they even care. I wonder how they found out and what initial reactions were.

Derrick from Philly

Yes, too many blacks are homophobic.

And too many southern white evangelicals are homophobic. Too many Italian, Irish, Eastern European "tough" guys are homophobic. Too many basketball players are homophobic, but too many hockey players are homophobic also.

But who gets most of the attention for being homophobic? The same people who get most of the attention for violent crime, drug abuse, teenage pregnancy, out of wedlock pregnancy, spousal abuse, high school drop out rates, high rate of STDs, high rate of prison population, etc.

Black people's homophobia hurts individual black people like it did the little boy we are discussing--using the word "faggot" happens too much amongst blacks, but homophobic actions aren't always so blatant. Homophobic white men can decide whether gay people have job protection, civil rights, hate crime laws, etc.

Are black people more homophobic or do they just have louder mouths?

Kevin

Y'all bettah preach!

Because actually coming out as gay was the cherry on top of the banana split for me. Simply being a good student used to get bricks thrown at me in 1st grade, and had me being teased as being "white" by my peers.

Derrick, I hear you but there ARE culturally specific ways in which this hits black kids, particularly ones that are "smart," "gay," who dress better, or ones whose parents have higher income levels. They are seen as not being "really black."

Mel Smith

How do we as gay brothers and sisters confront prejudice in our communities? If people were not so prejudice, that 11-year-old boy would be alive today. People teach their kids that it's ok to attack homosexuals, regardless of how old we are. We must confront these prejudice homophobic/gay-hating heterosexual monsters before more terrible acts take place. We must unite now.

Carlos

Donnie, Rod didn't say that.

As Derrick said, "too many blacks are homophobic." But "too many whites are homophobic" tooo.

Adding to what Kevin said, black culture and community does denigrate "cultured" and "articulate" blacks. It starts very young and in the schoolyard.

And let us not forget when Obama first started running for president many black folks (including many on THIS blog) said he wasn't "black enough." And if you still need validation, turn on BET or any reality show and look at the coon fest. Yes, "thug life" is supposed to be the ultimate of black male expression.

xavier

So sad...
SMH...
Homophobia is deadly and needs to be taken seriously. I find it funny that within our community we can talk about "sin" but have all these single parents, murder, adultry, etc... but as long as my child ain't a "sissy" than whatever else he/she does is fine with me. But on the other hand I have to say I just came out the closet and most of my family have been really supportive...so there's hope I guess. We as black lgbt individuals have to stand up and fight back against these homophobes.

Kevin

Carlos, as a Chicago area resident who has watched Barack Obama for over a decade, I will second that.

For years, there were those on the southside (usually but not always "churched") that called Barack Obama an "uppity n****er" and a tool for the rich white folks and Jews. Noone was (and is) more surprised than me when Obama started winning over black folks.

Mike

He reminds me of me growing up in school and how everyone made fun of me cause I went to sunday school and i dressed fly and classy" I really wish I knew this young brutha mabe I could have helped" this story is just so so sad to me cause this boy could have really been a smart young black man in this world were baggy jeans,being niggas,and acting hood is the normal thing to do growing up. His mom raised him into a beautiful young man and he took his life cause of ignorence SMH Rest in peace carl"

alicia banks

amen rod!

god bless his eternal soul
and may his family find some modicum of peace someday....

i have a bm friend who is gay but who was a closeted jock in high school...who typically harassed other gays...and even beat gays with baseball bats near gay clubs on the weekend for sport etc...

he is still deeply closeted...
and
he will be eternally haunted by his own cowardly sins...

so will these horrid kids who teased this boy to death...the most vicious of whom are probably typically gay themselves

jeffrey dahmer's dad penned one of the best bios i have ever read...he speaks very candidly about his own gaybashing and how it haunts him to think he taught jeff to hate himself as a homo who became a monster who killed fellow homos...

http://www.alibris.com/booksearch?qwork=2266273&matches=21&wquery=dahmer&cm_sp=works*listing*title

the blood on these evil kids' hands began with blood on their evil parents/preachers/kin...

shame!!!

peace
ab

alicia banks

derrick:

black people ARE THE WORST GAYBASHERS IN THE WORLD!!!!

undeniable evidence abounds in:

africa
jamaica
black hollywood
black churches
black kids
black thugs and thuggettes
bayard rustin
billy strayhorn
audre lorde
james baldwin
daily black gay lynchings today
black rap music

etc!!!...

there is no white equivalent to the level of RABID HOMOHATRED in these arenas/black lives!!!

i will never defend blacks who hate me...NEVA!!!!!

fyi
ab
see more:
http://www.geocities.com/ambwww/sakia.htm

Derrick from Philly

Well, Alicia:

Believe me, my passions are just strong as yours when I think about some of the humiliations I endured in North Philly. But you know, there are different types of homophobic anti-gay actions. Some involve big-mouth black gay-bashers, but others involve very powerful anti-gay white men in postions of power in industry, business, government, the military. Which are more harmful to gay people as a group? And what type of gay-bashing is more harmful to the individual?

One of the worst results of black on black gay-bashing is that the victim feels all alone, and that feeling can be deadly for a 51 year old--triple deadly for an 11 year old. Sometimes the only thing that saves you is the support (and shared experiences) of other gay people--something an 11 year old probably doesn't have.


"... will never defend blacks who hate me...NEVA!!!!!"

And your stance is correct, Alicia, but would you allow arrogant white gays to go un-challenged when they criticize black folks for anti-gay bigotry when they are anti-black bigots? Not all white gays--some are very good people. But some are pure Miriam Hopkins b_t_hes.


I'm sure Audre Lorde is a great idol of yours as she is for me. Do you think she would feel as strongly as you that "black people are the worst gaybashers in the world"?

Yes, black gay people are murdered much more than we hear about. Often black families don't let media know the reason behind the killing of their "loved" one. Look at the case in Newark. In all their grief over the murder of their children--what was the major concern of those black Newark families? "...my child wasn't gay" was what they wanted to make clear....clearly a lie.

So, I understand your view Alicia, and often-- I feel it too.

Kevin

Well. I would counter, Derrick, by saying that simply because a white gay person notes the level of anti-gay bigotry in black culture doesn't make them racist. True, they can say it in a very ignorant way (as white folks can do sometimes).

And some, of course, are racist (Andrew Sullivan, for example).

The only thing that I can do is take any and everyone on a case by case basis and really, much of what I have to rely on is my own experience.

I don't know, though Alicia. Iran, Iraq, Russia, Egypt, and Gaza are pretty bad too.

W. Lotus

I'm glad this child's mother is speaking out against homophobia as well as bullying.

I'm horrified by the things I've learned about the crimes committed against the poor boy by his school and his peers. I was teased mercilessly by my peers and only avoided suicide out of a belief that I would go to hell, if I killed myself. No human being deserves to go through what he went through. I hope he is at peace, now.

Jamal

TRUST ME White people are homophobic, they just keep quiet about it, but they hate gays just as much as Black people do.

Kevin

Jamal, some are, especially the churched set and the redneck variety.

But some black folks are very, very supportive, too.

It's more of a classist thing than a race thing, IMO.

Jai

Xavier..thanks so much for sharing your story. I am recently out to and a student in Chicago, we can support each other on this blog :0

Derrick...your words are always funny and inspiring.

W Lotus...I was also teased. it was such a horrible time in my life, aand that was just a fewyears ago

DFS

Ive really had to fight to not break down every time I see a picture of this child's sweet face. I dont know how his mother is even able to remain coherent.

Bourbon Street

i send my sincere condolences to the family of this precious baby

this is just so awful

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