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16 November 2005



thanks, i'll be looking forward to this show. and your coming out story!


I think a lot of people (maybe Jonathan Plummer included) are probably not gay, or any different than most straight people, but are coming out as gay, because our society insists so much that if you have a sexual attraction to the same sex, that means you are gay. If that's the case then probably the majority of people in the world are gay, and we'll start to see scenes like the last scene in the movie In&Out when everybody in town comes out of the closet. I suspect that when someone makes it to age 30 or 40, and then discovers that he is "gay," what he has really discovered is simply a sexual attraction to someone of his own sex, which he never knew he was capable of, because the repression of sexual feelings for the same sex has been so strong in this culture. But now, with the acceptance of gay so-called "lifestyles", the wall of repression is cracking and crumbling, and more and more people are entertaining the possibility of being attracted to the same sex. Once discovered, these feelings are first distressing, then fascinating, and finally all-consuming until the person acts on them and then experiences the pleasure and all of a sudden, all they want is that new thing, and all of a sudden they're gay. But they are not "gay," in the sense of being innately homosexual. They are simply experiencing a sexual attraction to the same sex that is programmed into almost all human beings, but that they had been repressing up until now. An innate homosexual cannot go for six years pleasing his wife without any inkling that there is something wrong (like Jonathan), and cannot get through high-school and even junior high school ribbing and teasing around sexual experience or lack thereof without realizing that his sexual drive is only toward the same sex and not at all toward the opposite sex.
There are a lot of people who consider themselves homosexual or gay because of an attraction to the same sex, even though they also experience attraction to the opposite sex. There are going to be even more people like this, until eventually everyone will be gay, or alternatively there'll be some kind of backlash against homosexuality (à la "things are getting too dangerous, we need to put a lid on it"), unless we manage to let people know that a same-sex sexual attraction does NOT make you gay, change your status, or put you into a sexual minority group.


Jake, don't think you can hide behind the "Mark" alias!

Jake Gyllenhaal on his Brokeback Mountain character:

"I approached the story believing that these are actually straight guys who fall in love. That's how I related to the material. These are two straight guys who develop this love, this bond."



I really like the distinction between "gay friendly" and "gay literate." It is helping me to make sense of a lot of the foolishness that I've been witnessing lately.


This really is a wonderful book. I picked up and re-read it all the time. I smile, giggle, feel warm and have moments of "wow me too".
Whereas I am not a fan of Oprah I think she does offer some positives from time to time and this is one of those times. Thanks Rod.


"'Don't you think Oprah is gay-friendly?' a reader demanded. Very much so. But not very gay-literate and there's a big difference. The programming skews toward single and married women who may want to keep abreast of gay happenings—because it's trendy to have some gay fashion or cultural sense—but are spared the messy details."

Truer words have never been spoken on your blog. Nice!

kevin c

I have only one question: How in the hell can Oprah be in the company of several gay men all damn day (hair/make-up/home decor)and still be gay-stupid?

Kevin C


"I have only one question: How in the hell can Oprah be in the company of several gay men all damn day (hair/make-up/home decor)and still be gay-stupid?"

Kevin C

simply put the gay men that Oprah perhaps surrounds herself with are those i would like to term, 'supergay' the supergay is a man that embodies ALL the usual stereotypes of the gay man: fussy, loud, fahion and style oriented (like Carson Kressley). You all know to whom i refer.

also, if oprah can discuss gay men's coming out, then where is the meaningful discussion of lesbian women? why is a black woman continually ignoring her black and/or lesbian sisters on an important topic? why is hers and a lot of people's idea of gay exclusive to men?

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