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13 April 2006



"I don't identify as black or really as gay. I identify as an American... and not even think about it."

I've heard these same EXACT words from Whoopi Goldberg, Diana Ross and Tiger Woods.
Why is it the only black people who don't identify as black are ones who marry white people, live in white enclaves (like the Castro), and seem to want to escape their blackness.
Are there white people who don't identify as being white, and use it to their benefit every day?
How can a black man go through a single day not realizing (or being reminded) that he's black....unless you're the victim of some serious self-hated and oppression sickness.


great, just what we need in this funkytown - another non-black non-gay black gay man. good luck to the brotha anyway.

love the site, rod. been reading for almost a year now. keep it comin!

Derrick from Philly

I wonder what some of those bitch crackas in the Castro identify Mr. Wingard as? But it really doesn't matter, he's made a success of his life. It just bothers some black gay/sgl folks to hear that kinda' unrealistic stuff.

Dion Young

Hey fellas! Lighten up! - It's okay to go through this world and not feel like you have to "fit in" - To ME, fitting in comes w/ far too many expectations of who or what I should be. I too, am a black man, that just happens to be dating, another man. Too many times, I don't have a good time at all black parties/all gay parties/all white parties/all straight parties/all musicians/all architects and all of anything else. These types of gatherings just make me feel even more odd than I'm to understand that I already am.

And as far as the argument that blacks seem to loose their blackness once they've become successful - there have been times where I've been successful in life and other times, not!

It can be hard not feeling like you fit into any particular group but I stopped trying in college and when I did, it gave me a total sense of freedom. For ME, having a need to fit in makes me feel like I'm back high school - it didn't work then either.

Yep... Sometimes I love my watermelon and sometimes, I like a good mediterranean salad. Both are healthy and refreshing summer bites that I enjoy without the need to feel like I'm a part of the framework of these culture.

I should state that, I strongly believe that belonging to a culture, especially one of the many different black cultures, it can be a good thing if they work in positive ways for ya! However, a need to feel connected to any group is just not necessary for some of us. Surely, I'd make a bigger effort to try to fit in if I felt that it would make things better, easier and mostly, if it felt like who I am. Oh, and BTY, the last thing that I'd want to do is have a need to fit into whatever is the mold that determines that one is white, or any other race. Molds seem to be limiting for me and also, they come w/ way too many false pretenses.

I'm totally w/ Ken on this one - be who you are and be what feels right and true to YOU. You have to ask yourself, where did all of the anger that you're directing at someone you obviously don't really know - where did it come from... (and before yoa get all jacked up, my personal definition for anger is: anger = disconbobulated info - that's it)

I happen to know Ken, (not TOO personally, but I know him well enough, I think) and he has no idea that I feel not unlike he does about the cultural/race thing however, he has always greeted me w/ the warmest most personable smile and hugs.

Even if you're right about the ways you infer that one should go about this world, what kinda folks do ya expect to recruit, given the attitudes such as the ones thatcha got goin on in here...

Guess I had somethin to say...

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