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20 February 2009



Diva1961, thank you for carrying the conversation forward. But since, as you mentioned, people in prison who were straight before going in can become accustomed to same-sex sexual activity, that means they had it within them to be accustomed to that. They may choose to give it up when they get back on the outside because it has a somewhat different significance outside than it did in prison. But the capacity to go both ways is still there. In contrast, if I (who am a gay man) were somehow imprisoned in an all female-setting (like a eunuch in a harem), I doubt that I would be having any sex with anyone, because the capacity is not there in me to enjoy sex with women. So how come straight people are able to take pleasure in same-sex activity in prison, then? It must be because they have a capacity to be bisexual that many gay people (as well as some small minority of the straight population) do not have.

I see your point on the use of the term lifestyle, but the fact remains that for "straight" people the gay life feels like an alternative that they could take under whatever circumstances might arise to make them want to do so, and so it seems like a lifestyle choice to them. That is the point that we need to learn in order to bring across to them that our experience is different from theirs. They may have a choice, but we do not. And yes, the straight married life is a lifestyle choice. It just happens to also be the norm imposed by society, but that does not make it any less a lifestyle choice. And maybe we should turn the tables on them and refer to the so-called straight life as a lifestyle, since that is precisely what it is.

Shawn Carter

people need to learn to get over other people's opinions if anyone is gay and happy then be gay and happy. Rashaan is entitled to his own opinion of his sexuality. Just like other gays demonize anyone who is fem, fat, or not muscle body get over it we cant have our way.

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