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03 March 2009



unfortunately the LAST thing athletes want to do is address the homo quotient of their games. they are many closeted players and they believe they are 'man's men'...and homos are off limits


Sigh. I love this photo and love to see athletes bonding and expressing their love for each other and the game. It's so pure. And yes, I am sure many of them understand the homoerotic appeal. To some that makes them more sensitive. Others, the majority I am sure...are opposite and it makes them more homophobic.


that is a GREAT photo


The hidden secret is that athletes get a lot of pleasure and thrills from their pats and hugs and kisses, and that that pleasure is kind of hard to distinguish clearly from the pleasure one gets from sex (only the orgasm is missing and only because they CHOOSE not to go there).

But as Rod quotes in the piece, "It’s OK if a straight teammate pats your butt, but if an openly gay teammate does, that’s trouble." I would say it's not only okay with them, it's a little bit of heaven. But what makes it different if a gay teammate were to do it, is the significance that would be attached to it. It would no longer seem safe, and what it would threaten is their masculine identity and their straight identity. That's why such athletes and other straight people have to keep a certain distance from gays, even at times when they making a positive statement for gay rights, by saying "I'm not gay myself, but etc etc etc..."

What homoerotic but straight athletes need to know to feel safe is that their homoerotic fondling will not mark them as gay, that their full masculinity will not be put in question.

If we just say that we should teach people that gays are just as masculine as straights, that does not help them differentiate themselves from gays. Because there must be a difference between gay and not gay.

So what is the difference? That they are just horsing around, that they don't fall in love? What if they did fall in love, or have a crush on a teammate - would that make them gay? I don't think so, it would just make them human. Who wouldn't fall in love with all that hotness?

Gay people, that's who, assuming the hotness is of the opposite sex. It's staring us all in the face that what sets gay people apart from straights is not our erotic feelings for the same sex as ourselves (we share that trait with them!), but our lack of erotic feelings for the sex that we could procreate with. That is the characteristic that we have by nature, that is the way God made us, about which we have no choice. That is what makes people gay, and nothing else.


Great breakdown, Mark. I have had close male bonding with some of my str8 college roommates, what we now call a "bromance". Even some of my girlfriends (when i was still dating women) felt left-out. It had all the elements of a relationship: wanting to be around each other, the physical contact, the letting down of the guards, the vulnerability, all of that but the sex. My boys are now happily married with kids and very straight (to my knowledge, wink). All this to say that male bonding is nothing new and is still practiced in its purest form in other part of the world (Africa, Middle East, etc.). America has a weird obsession with homosexuality, which makes us more "aware" when dealing with other men in order to avoid any of the stigma. We are all human after all.


JT, I agree completely. I don't know why, U.S. have this weird homophobia whereby every male-male physical contact is viewed through perverted lenses. When I was growing up in Asia, I held hands with my best (male) friend as we walked to school. No one every gave it a second thought about homosexuality -- it's just normal friendship bonding. Good luck if a kid does that walking to school without some kid calling them gay, faggots, or what other choice phrases they like to use.

We project our feelings onto the things we see. In this instance, as gay men, we see homosexual affection between two attractive men, and automatically we attempt to put feelings in the things we see (as everyone does) that may not be there.

The point is, are the images homoerotic? Sure they are -- for gay men and people who are so insecure about their own sexuality, but for everyone else, it's just two men sharing a moment of heightened emotion -- anything more is just up to the imagination of the viewers...

Trinidad. Adventist. Gay?!

I don't know about this. People will continue to say that homosexuals are depraved lechers if we continue to see sex in everything and to try to point it out loudly.

People complain that in other cultures men are more close than in the West. This is the reason why--we think entirely too much about sex (fooling ourselves into thinking it's liberating) when all it does is envelop us and constrain our actions.


oh, yeah...i wanna get to the point where i don't wanna think about sex...nooootttt!!!!

hetero males never question themselves about assuming that every female they encounter wants to hit the sheets with them...

yet somehow same gender loving men are supposed to restrain themselves and even censor their imaginations...

why do we continue to make excuses for homophia meanwhile conjecturing that homoeroticism is in the eye of the beholder...

i think homo-eroticism is in the hands of the athletes slapping those beautiful, sculpted cheeks of their fellow players...lol...

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