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24 March 2009

Comments

RJ

This is a beautiful story. It's the antidote to this incessant press coverage that blacks are homophobes and antigay, now we see families and students are united in celebrating a joyous occasion for this man.

Chris Cruz

Does it bother anyone else that Clarence Nalley says he is not gay and tells his students he is "bisexual"? I'm not saying he isn't bisexual, but the word/phrase is often used a gateway before officially coming out and it seems the male students find "bisexual" more acceptable than gay.

ATL Kid

@ Chris:

I saw that too, how the students said he "wasn't gay" but bisexual. I'm going to take his word for it that he is bi. At any rate, it gives the students and community an appreciation of LGBT people and families.

Lang B.

Tha Bi coment struck me too.
Bi but marrying a dude. UGH!
I mean it's hard enough to worry about your man cheating with a man now you gotta deal with when the tide turns and all of sudden he wants to get with or marry a woman. SIGH! I don't think I would ever date a a "Bi" guy ever again.

I respect his OUTness though.

TheRevKev

But what if he is NOT gay?

The thing that moves me so deeply in this story is that he IS bisexual and didn't take the "easy" road out of being "attracted" to both but committing only to a woman. This man is going to marry a man and is man enough to be out to his school, his students and himself. He could have "used" his bisexuality as a public way of being with woman but privately also with men. He's landed, at least in this case and this relationship, on the side of loving a man with whom he is going to commit his life.

That's a PLUS for LGBT in the conversation because though attracted to both, he's fallen in love and now walked into love with a man and is not ashamed or afraid to say it.

I hear bisexual so much from men of color (some guys whom you might think have never seen a woman naked) who don't ever find the strength to be fully present in love with a man. This wonderful teacher, who has stood in front of complaints and constraints, is saying that he doesn't care who fights...I WILL STAND FOR LOVE!

I stand with him!

I am going to send them a wedding gift....I WONDER IF THEY'RE REGISTERED...Hmmmm.

keith

I think a "bi" she as much a chance of cheating on you as a "gay" guy. What would be the difference between two "gays" getting married then and "bi" and a "gay" or two "bi" guys. If they are truly in a commited relationship, I dont think it would matter that one of their orientaions is "bi". His being "bi" doesn't mean he is sleeping with both sexes currently. He could be attracted to both sexes( making him "bi") but has decided that the man he found is the right one for him, that doesn't make him any less "bi" he has just found the one that works for him. If he was gay he could decided wanted another man and leave. I just don't feel being "bi" or not, will make him any more committed than if he was "fully gay"

alicia banks

in a world filled with self-hating fake cowards, it is very wasy to foget that some people and animals really are truly bisexual...

wow!

thanks rod!

this story made my day

peace
ab

Former COGIC

I don't see this wonderful man hiding behind the bisexual label. I believe he is honestly bisexual and is hiding nothing ... he is out, he proclaims his sexuality and he announces it to the world in the world's most prominent newspaper. But don't forget he is marrying a man! He is not hiding, I believe this is who he is is. If he were hiding, he would hardly be making it public or having a ceremony ... believe you me.

LaurynX

I find it unfortunate that this got derailed into a convo about the fidelity of bisexual folks and the self-hating gay folks to claim "bisexual".

The man is a member of the lgBt (emphasis on B) community, and is an out teacher in Harlem. Can we just applaud that?

Anthony in Nashville

Isn't it unprofessional to involve your students in your personal life?

I didn't care what my teachers were doing in junior high, and if I'd been in a similiar situation I would probably think it was weird.

That said I'm glad nobody seemed to flip out on him.

The bi-ness of the teacher is worth discussing, perhaps on another thread. I'm starting to think there are more Bs than Ls or Gs among us.

Chris Cruz

Lauryn, I respectfully disagree. The bisexuality and the students' reaction is part of the story. He put it out there in the New York Times for the whole world to discuss.

Oh and I don't think we, or at least me, is a "self-hating gay". That is usually the road taken by the gays who don't want to call themselves gay.

Hikaru

I think it's a beautiful thing (no pun intended) that there's seemingly no backlash, no matter how he identifies.

Marcus

I admire the fact that Mr. Nalley has the courage to not only come out to his students, but to commit to him in a public ceremony.

In response to Anthony, I think that may be a decision of where you teach. It may be more conservative for teachers in the south and midwest. NYC is more open. But I do think teachers need to be discreet tho unless someone can correct me if I'm wrong.

Shane Moseley

This really is a wonderful story...

The media and gay bloggers are so quick to accuse black people and the black community of being homophobic and that stupid 70% Prop 8 figure.

These are the types of stories that happen all the time in our community and are not glossed over.

My uncle lived with his male partner in the 1970s, 1980s and 1990s in Chicago's South Shore community. Everyone knew they were a couple, both were teachers and they were well liked.

Obviously they didn't have committment ceremonies and such then, but I think both men would have loved something like this.

I don't think they could or would have invited their students, though. So this shows how far we have come.

D.bARR

This is a great story, but I'm not sure how I feel about the "bi" thing. I mean, do you and all...but it just seems a bit suspect to me. He's lucky, I tell you that. Most teachers wouldn't have that support from the administration.

Taylor Siluwé

Wow. A truly great story.

The whole "bi" thing is a distraction from the beauty of what's going on here.

And Anthony in Nashville: I don't agree that its unprofessional. We live in a homophobic, hetersexist society that teaches its children there is ONLY ONE WAY that is right, and gay ain't it.

Nothing would be thought of inviting the student body to a hetero wedding. No headlines would be made. No one's job would be in jeopardy. No one would be called "unprofessional".

In a society that loses its mind over wonderful childrens books like Heather Has Two Mommies or And Tango Makes Three - these are teachable moments and we need many more of them.

This teacher has serious balls to put his livihood on the line for a principle while many would just take the easy route.

We should all applaud that!

Trinidad. Adventist. Gay?!

Many gay people (not all) are quick to jump on the Kinsey bandwagon when they want to prove that "everyone is a little gay" or that homosexuality is not an outlier.

But then they'll turn around and scoff at people who label themselves "bisexual" instead of "gay" with no interest in moving in either direction (much worse if they marry a woman).

Now who's really trying to have it both ways?

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