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25 March 2009


Former COGIC

The fact that PGC is the home of the black bourgeoisie and HIV is increasing should alarm the black church crowd. Should. I don't think it will tho, they want to play like ostriches in the sand about AIDS.

S. Flemming

This does not surprise me. When you consider the amount of married men who are up and through DC clubs and A4A and all those sites doing God knows what, this isn't shocking. Add that to the very lax attitude some black women have toward using condoms and it is a recipe for disaster. This situation gets more and more dire each day. Female friends of mine always ask me if there are any signs as to whether or not a man gets down and I always tell them NO - just assume the worst and protect yourself regardless. It ain't worth it.


SFleming, you are telling the truth. I have never seen so many married men trolling for sex as they are online these days, and, the majority of them will be stright upfront that they are married, as if that's some sort of badge of honor.

That said, the women, black, white or any other race need to be speaking up and taking ownership of thier bodies and demanding safer sex with condoms, if they don't, they will be another stat and do like many did when the first report came out, blame, wrongly, black gay men.

Trinidad. Adventist. Gay?!

S. Fleming, you should tell them to close their legs unless they are married.

Why indulge them by affirming the stereotype that it's "the gays" they'll be getting AIDS from?

Eddy B

" ... they want to play like ostriches in the sand about AIDS."

Former COGIC, it's not just the black church crowd who is ignoring HIV and AIDS. The black gay community is doing quite a good job on its own, as the last report from Washington DC demonstrated.

S Flemming and Luther make great points, we have to protect ourselves and black women have to protect ourselves. So far we are both far behind and are paying the consequences.

S. Flemming

@ Trinidad ... I don't affirm any stereotype they have about blaming gay men for anything. I thought the issue was overblown until I had my own experiences with dudes who get down like that and was lied to and misled, so I understand them asking the question. I simply tell them don't assume that, when it comes to the topic of the DL man when they bring it up, you can judge a man based on his manner or his look - which is why a lot of black women get caught up. (We've all heard it - "he don't LOOK gay" or "he don't ACT gay" and all the dumb crap.) The point is you never know what your partner is doing at all, regardless of your orientation, so I say assume the worst and always take the necessary precautions. Unfortunately, telling people to close their legs till married has never worked ... if it did, we wouldn't have more than 50 percent of our kids born out of wedlock.

@ Luther ... yeah dudes in the tri-state area seem to be getting more and more flagrant with their dirt, and it scares me. We just gotta be careful out there.


@ S. Fleming...I have told my female friends the same thing. I hear them too many times talk about some guy looking "gay." Many women make the same mistake about me. Even when I tell them, they sometimes won't stop making a pass at me. For some reason they can't get it through their heads that every guy is not into them. Also, too many brothas have been in and out of prison. AIDS is increasingly rampant in the prison system. Who are these men having sex with when they get out of jail? They still sleep with women. As everyone keeps saying, "Assume everyone is infected and use protection and common sense." This is a problem all across the country. I would say that at least half the guys I've had sex with were either married and/or had girlfriends. And that is being conservative. This complacency and ignorance must end now.

Luther wrote:
I have never seen so many married men trolling for sex as they are online these days, and, the majority of them will be stright upfront that they are married, as if that's some sort of badge of honor.

I think that's the equivalent of saying "Even though I occasionally have sex with other men, I'm not technically gay because I'm married"

Add on to that, the still common misconception that HIV and AIDS is a gay disease. So in their minds, since they are technically not gay, they're somehow illogically immune to the disease. It just shows the sad consequence of self denial and the refusal to see the truth, convincing people to hold on to the most irrational and outrageous beliefs.


Some of these dudes are so obsessed with not looking and acting "gay," they have convinced themselves that they aren't gay. Dealing with AIDS would destroy their illusion they have constructed, so they choose to ignore it.

Chris Cruz

@ Ravenback and Luther:

You are absolutely right about the number of black men on hookup msites who produly say they are "married." I am starting to believe not all are telling the truth, with photos on specifically gay hookup sites. Or at least I hope not. But this DL business is just ridiculous and yes the women and gay men should look at every partner as potentially HIV positive.

Kevin Perez

''Unfortunately, telling people to close their legs till married has never worked ... if it did, we wouldn't have more than 50 percent of our kids born out of wedlock.''

Somebody who is categorized as ''gay'' really doesn't have damn right to tell anybody what they should do according to the Bible. It just make us look like hypocrites when we're denoucing them for using verses and scriptures to condemn us and what not.

Trinidad. Adventist. Gay?!:

If I were a straight woman and I was being told by a GAY man to ''close my legs'' because of some 2,000 book (yeah, that's right) as option for safe sex, I believe the likes of you others would respectfully deserve to be given the finger or a ''Go to Hell''.

I'm tired of psuedo-religious gays know using the Bible to condemn and lecture what one should be doing even when we, as gay men, hate it when it's used against us.

Protection is the best way. Telling a person to ''close their legs'' is pathetic as your precious ''abstience'' programs that are suppose to reduce out of wedlock births, as well as unwanted pregancies.

S. Flemming

@ Kevin ... The point I was making with the statement about sex and marriage was in response to what somebody else said. I agree with you. What I meant was protection is the key because you can tell folks not to have sex till you are blue in the face, and they are gonna do it.

Chris Cruz

Agreed. Protection is the best and only way to go.


Why is this a surprise? I mean where do they think many of the people who work in DC live? And all them fellas living suburban lives with their wives and girlfriends be getting their life from fellas in DC and other PG County folks who come in contact with DC folks. I mean that border line is sooo transparent between PG and DC.

Mister C


PLEASE get a DAMN grip It's not just only Blacks. STOP TAKING OWNERSHIP of this disease. We're not the only ones suffering as a community with this. We're just being HIGHLIGHTED for special effects!

PLEASE Take responsibility..

Barry S

Umm, Mister C, we are getting a grip. It's not only black people who are HIV positive but the epidemic is much more pronounced in our community. And much more a problem for black gay men than white gay men, many of us refuse to use condoms and get tested for some reason.

Discussing the situation is being very responsible, we have ignored it far too long.

Mister C

UM Barry, Lets not be stupid.
Like I said we must PLEASE Take responsibility.

But why aren't they looking at statistics in Montgomery Cty Md where it's predominately WHITE!

Like I said wake up we need to combat this issue in our community but to make me think that white gay men who are still barebacking,and etc aren't catching HIV???? You tell that s__tto the sheriff.

Because I DON'T BELIEVE IT for one minute! We are being paraded by the very folks that could help us and are NOT instead it's just being a PUBLIC issue making us
THE TRUE SCAPEGOATS of this horrible disease!

Pls watch your language. I've asked you before about profanity.
BTW, "they" are looking at stats in Montgomery County. The HIV incidence is much higher in PGC, which is second in the state to Baltimore. But if you don't want to "believe" the CDC or Maryland government, that's up to you. -RM


No one is making blacks scapegoats. We aren't handling our own business and using protection ... that includes black heterosexuals and especially black gay men. I think it is far more dangerous to claim it is "scapegoating" and all a "lie" than to face the truth.

And what benefit does Prince George's County have to intentionally inflate their HIV caseload? There has to be a corresponding identification and medical file for every infection. In my opinion states, counties and governments usually try to minimize their or decrease their HIV numbers.

I don't get it but you said something like this before in the DC HIV article.

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