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08 June 2010



What a sad, sad punk he (Steven Monjeza) turned out to be! It's usually the masculine ones who cop out when the going gets tough-
Auntie Tiwo, you stand strong, and don't give into the pressure to change who you are because others can't deal with who they are!

Just had to vent-- it really does boil my blood to hear this type of news. Thanks for reporting it all the same, @ Rod

Thomas mpete

Let him do whatever which makes happy.we supported him when he wanted 2 marry a gay lover,and we support him and wish all the joy in the world.wether he finds that with a man or a woman.it does not matter

Kevin Perez

Yeah, because it's easy to convert from being gay to straight. Only in the minds of church queens, women, and generally stupid people.

Any woman that's engaged to this dude better not come crying when he's on the DL.


It looks like Thomas mpete has had way too much coffee this morning- back off the post button!

Bottom line: there is no real happiness, feigned or otherwise, when you have to sacrifice who you are because others won't accept you as you are and allow you the same rights and freedoms they take for granted. That matters most! (repeat that one as much as you like!-LOL)

Nathan James

This is extreme "behavior modification' at work. People like Rick Warren (who is actively engaged in helping Uganda pass their "Kill the gays" legislation) would love to "modify" the "behavior" of gays and lesbians right here at home, just as was done to this unfortunate couole in Malawi.

"Behavior modification"=brainwashing.


You know what...I'm saving further comments until we hear "Aunt Tiwo" side of the story... that's if it gets out at all!!

Grambling State

i really don't think we can condemn stevn monjeza too much. malawi does not have the same culture or freedoms as the united states or europe. you do remember that they were sentenced to 14 years for simply holding an engagement ceremony???

Black gay men on these blogs will defend Tyler Perry or Queen Latifah and their glass closets to the death. They are millionaires many times over who could come out and they still would be set for life. (Tyler prob won't be able to produce those black church folk movies, but we surely won't starve!) You can't expect some poor man in Africa, where an entire county has turned against him, to do better!

Just my thoughts!


I could understand if the two broke up for survival.God knows they are facing unprecedented amounts of pressure...Hell, i do understand why he's now engaged.BUT to go on record and claim he never loved him is just plain cruel and makes Aunt Tiwo look a fool.

Is it any surprise that its him not Aunt Tiwo who said this?


The butcher the man, the bigger the sissy. That's always been, and will always be.

But given what this man has been through and the pressure he is still under, maybe we should be understanding of his cowardice.


So, clearly "Aunt Tiwo" is derogatory and I'd appreciate it if further commentors don't refer to him as such, I think Tiwonge would too.

I can sympathize with the couple breaking up and even Steven finding himself a beard, I mean the threat 14 years of hard labor in addition to nationwide disdain is a lot for anyone to swallow. Hopefully homegirl knows wassup, hey maybe she's a lesbian! That would be awesome.

I do dislike that he's gone out of his way to denounce his sexuality (a la Queen Latifah.) He could easily just say, hey i found this woman and I'm happy, goodbye.

I'm also interested to hear Tiwonge's side of this development, I hope it doesn't get nasty and they can both just find happiness whether together or apart.


Once again. THANK YOU to the drag queens and more effeminate gay men who REALLY live and fight for GAY RIGHTS every second of their lives and inadvertently make my daily life (AND YOURS) better.

REMEMBER STONE WALL -- all of you DL gay dudes -- those gays did it with heels on!!!!!!!! While you cannot even stand up straight in your Timberlands and Air Force Ones!

Know -- or learn your history!

Brooklyn Boi

It's Tiwo's fault they were caught.

Here at home, the femmes always ruin it by sashaying down the street and carrying on. In Africa, they want to wear headwraps and call themselves aunts! Two DL brothaz wouldnt be caught!


SMH @Brooklyn Boi.

Derrick from Philly

@"Here at home, the femmes always ruin it by sashaying down the street and carrying on... Two DL brothaz wouldnt be caught!"

A chair is still a chair...even when there's no one sitting there...

But a DL brotha is not a "top" and a "top" is not always a man...

When there's no one there to bang his buns...and no TRADE there he can gooooo down on....


>>>Two DL brothaz wouldnt be caught!

And by definition "two DL brothaz" wouldn't have enough courage to declare their love openly let alone have an ENGAGEMENT ceremony. If DL punks won't be openly gay in NYC or LA, they damn sure wouldnt be open in Africa where they would be sent to jail.

Oh and "Brooklyn Boi", do all the "DL brothaz" use the very twinkish "boi" now? Hmmm?

Silly rabbit, being out and open is for grown men, not "bois"


The only thing a DL brortha is good for is a roll in the hay. That's it. They aren't relationship material. They can't truly love because there are always conditions attached to that love. They don't fight for the right to live wherever you want to. They don't stand up for you when you are discriminated against on the job. They don't fight for your right to marry another of the same sex or enter a civil union. They don't get out there and fight for better AIDS and HIV services. They don't fight to repeal DADT. They don't fight for LGBTs access to basic services that others are entitled to without question.

They just look for the next easy sexual conquest that they hope no one else will ever notice.

A DL brotha is like the age old question, "When a tree falls in the forest and no one else is around, does it make a sound?" Who cares? There's no one around to notice.

I had stopped dealing with DL brothas when I was around 23 or 24 years old. I am now 44 years old and I know what true love and expression is. I love the company of openly gay men because I can sense the inner strength that they possess. The most honest conversations that I've had with people are with those who are openly gay. I appreciate a gay brotha who can walk right up to me and express an interest in me. That confidence is sexually enticing beyond belief.

Dl brothas lie, lie, lie, and lie again. They lie to their families, their jobs, and many times the women in their lives. And don't forget about their kids. They don't have an honest bone in their bodies. At least not one that I would waste my time trying to find.

Some may think that I have overgeneralized or stereotyped the DL brotha but I don't care. I'm not far off the mark. I'm sure that people have heard the old sexist saying that women are only good for two things -- the kitchen and the bedroom. Well, the DL brotha is only good in the bedroom, unless he can throw down in the kitchen as well.

This is a love letter to Brooklyn Boi and all the other DL brothas who crap all over the openly gay brothas out there. And I don't apologize for anything that I have said. I probably didn't say enough.


I know I can't possibly understand the pressure the couple must be under in Malawi. If this marriage takes the spotlight off Steven Monjeza and allows him to go back to having a semi-normal life, fine (the suddenness of this marriage makes me think its some kind of 'arrangement'). He, after all has to live in a country that threatened him with 14 years hard labor!

Now I'm even more concered about what is to become of Tiwonge Chimbalanga!


This is very unfortunate to hear, but after the initial shock wears off, its not hard to understand what is going on here. They were just pardoned and it is still illegal to be gay in that Country. I know there is someone in the background who is feeding Steven the words to say. I know it in my soul, that he is being used in some way to set an example some how. I can't properly articulate what I mean, but there is someone else that is behind this... I JUST KNOW IT! I will continue to pray for both these men, as it seems they need it know more than ever.

@Brooklyn Boi

You should be ashamed of yourself. I love all the Queens and fems and all the inbetweens. If you are living your life as your TRUE authentic self, then that is what makes you a Man. Those DL Men are doing nothing for anyone. They are truly just Squirrels lookin for a... Well you know the rest.


@ Reggieh

I worry about Tiwonge as well. I'm afraid that we'll be hearing some bad news sometime soon. I hope that I'm wrong. Unfortunately, it's the effeminate looking man that gets the raw deal. It doesn't matter if it's in gay-hating Malawi or self-righteous America.


So true @ Ravenback- As you can see, these are the things that make ordinary people heroes, whether they choose it or not. Who will stand their ground-

History has shown us that there are some people who will stand up against the norm of the time, rise up against what the "law" says, rebel against what they feel and know is their birthright to be treated like a human.

Then we have those that just conform to the system , keep quiet, stay fearful of what others think, remain hidden while injustice is being served (DL). So many examples of those who chose to sit in the back of the bus, chose to watch apartheid happen, allow genocide to erupt instead of fighting for something that all humans are worthy of.

Take a real stand!

Anthony in Nashville

I understand why they broke up, they were not counting on becoming an international story.

Hopefully Tiwo will learn not to date any man who claims he was "straight" until he met you.


Now now ladies and gents I think we need not rush to judgment until we remind ourselves that this is modern day post colonized Africa about which we are speaking. “Corrective rape” is used to handle Lesbians, rape and torture used to handle gay men and murder used to exterminate all LGBT people. Those are unfortunate norms for the community in Africa. To me this screams desperation for survival. Of course he did not have to throw his ex under the bus the way he did but I gather that because although he was shown “mercy” due to international pressure an angry mob and or the government could still find a way to brutalize and kill him and his ex. There is no saying that would/cannot happen. It is easy for any of us here in the states or Europe to state that he is a coward, a “sissy” and so forth because none of us live in that type of atmosphere. Now I’m not saying it’s peachy for LGBT folks here however take our homophobia multiply it a couple hundred times and you’ve got Africa. I feel this man is perpetrating the straight lifestyle (if being gay is a lifestyle so is being straight is also a lifestyle PERIOD!) because he knows this is what will make the very naïve general population comfortable and they will believe it because they are so uneducated in this and naïve. It sounds like he’s doing this to live. I kind of feel for the guy…


Maybe she's a lesbian who needs to marry a man to not have to go through what he and his man went through. Who says he's not going to be with Tiwo anymore? He had to publicly renounce his man to save both their lives.


I don't think it's fair for any of us to judge these men for their actions. Very few of us can comprehend the dire circumstances under which these men live. Even here in America, the land of options, we've seen many gays and lesbians claim heterosexuality rather then deal with public condemnation for being true to themselves.

Those brothers have endured a lot in a country where your best possibility to live a good life is to be adopted by a liberal pop icon and taken to live in castle far away from your backwards countrymen. I will not judge.

alicia banks


global hatred & abuse = global dl charades & drama


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