An interesting new development in the case of Bishop Eddie Long, the Atlanta-based anti-gay mega-church pastor accused of luring young men into sexual relationships and using church funds to give them cash, gifts and cars. The four men have filed sexual coercion lawsuits against Long and New Birth Missionary Baptist Church. Read the complaints HERE, HERE, HERE and HERE.
It's common knowledge in Atlanta's Black LGBT community that many Black gay men attend Long's anti-gay mega-church. One of those gay men is finally speaking out. Samuel Brown was interviewed by BET News and says he has been a member of New Birth MBC since 1993 ... and it's "insulting" to him that Long is apparently being hypocritical.
"He was unable to say that he was 100 percent guilt-free, and it was insulting to me to not come out and be straight-forward. Basically him and his lawyer crafted a statement where he didn't have to hit the situation head on. The reason Bishop Long is so popular in Atlanta and all over the world is his transparency. He preaches about it in his sermons. He will say things that other people won’t say. He will push the envelope on a lot of things. So with him speaking so strongly about transparency and now not being able to deliver a clear-cut answer, it doesn't sit well with me."
Samuel Brown explains why he and other Black gay men attend services at New Birth.
BN: Do you think New Birth Church would have allowed you to be a member if they knew you were gay?
SB: Probably not. But at the same time, there are a pretty large number of congregants in the church that are gay or appear to be gay that I know of personally as well.
BN: Do you know why other homosexual Christians would become members of a church that preaches sermons condemning their lifestyle?
SB: The majority of the homosexual, gay members of the church that are at New Birth, most of them 'fall in line' with the teachings. They feel like it’s wrong, they are sinning, they are sinners and it’s something you have to get rid of.
It's a massive exercise in denial when a gay man would say that it's "insulting" that the anti-gay pastor doesn't practice what he preaches ... but it isn't "insulting" to attend a church that offers ex-gay workshops and where the pastor rants against gay rights. Unfortunately this is all-too common in the Black church, where gay men overpopulate the choirs and usher boards and silently enable the homophobia from the pulpit.
For what its worth, Brown and his partner tell BET News that they are finally "thinking" of leaving New Birth. Watch it AFTER THE JUMP ...
It's a tricky situation, and there is a tightrope to walk.
On the one hand, the militant in me wants to 100% agree with "kevjack"...it takes an extreme amount of cloudy thought to place yourself in a harmful situation and continuously defend your action as a virtue. As I see it, gay, black men in a "traditional" church environment are in a unhealthy co-dependent relationship.
On the other hand, "Freelo" has a point. We do not know these men or what they've been through. And if our objective is to persuade them that it's okay to be gay, to free their mind, to live in truth...condemnation is not going to get it done. I've always contended that people need to feel safe if they're going to take the leap out of the closet. After all, why would you leave the "loving" arms of your abusive father and run into the "embrace" of an openly hostile community (for which you supposedly belong)?
Suffering from co-dependency is not a black and white condition...and neither is this issue. While black, gay men who sit in these churches have a responsibility to themselves and their community to refute the hate, they do suffer from a disease. Thousands of men and women in abusive relationships attend actual recovery meetings for their co-dependency. These meetings foster a safe environment for them to cry-out if they need to, be encouraged and inspired, and gain education! Enlightened (if you will) black, gay men need to personify those meetings! Be a voice of encouragement, education, and understanding! Sure, you won't reach them all (after all, indoctrination is not easy to scrub out)...but getting to just ONE of these guys is a monumental feat.
Posted by: www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=39507466 | 10 October 2010 at 11:36
Bravo to Samuel Brown for staying and trying to build bridges in the church, not burn them. He has been blogging for years as an open gay man in the church, so I don't see how he can be considered closeted. And he is not "self-hating", he embraces his sexual identity in his blog. But he stays and does not turn his back on his church. That can be considered an act of prayer. Just because you don't get what you want from your pastor, congregation, or family, does not mean you are required to abandon them, as some posters imply here. You can if you need to, but more power to you if you have the strength to stay without being hurt. And he is strong enough, as witnessed by the very positive content of his blog, Son of a Bishop.
Also bravo to FREELEO, standing up for what's right as usual.
Posted by: Mark | 10 October 2010 at 12:20
I see Bishop Long as the worse of the worse. Preaching virulent anti gay messages to a congregation with known gay worshipers is fowl and disgusting. I shudder to think of how these young men and women go home feeling about themselves after hearing such hatred spewed week after week. These are the same young gay people who will develop suicidal tendencies, low self esteem, sexual addictions, drinking & drug abuse, and other social ills because they keep hearing how awful, disgusting, sinful, and fowl their lifestyle is. Why? Because you want to belong? You want to feel wanted, loved, and accepted and this is the only choice you have? And rather than Mr Long owning up to his deceitful behavior he decides his reputation is more important. I can't think of a more harmful environment for gay people to be in AND STAY IN. If Mr Brown really wants to do something he should be demanding that Mr Long step down until these charges are dealt with. And his gay worshipers need to know there are other churches you can attend that preach a more affirmative message and don't denigrate you while at the same time trying to get you into his bedroom.
Posted by: Mikey-He Likes It | 10 October 2010 at 14:27
Mark, if Samuel Brown is a self-accepting gay man who is trying to change hearts and minds from within New Birth, then that is fine. But most gay men going to homophobic churches are not acting like Samuel Brown.
There is a reason why all of this is not just a matter of “live and let live,” as some posters suggest. A gay man who goes to a homophobic church is not just a passive victim of abuse. He is aiding and abetting the Enemy. He is aiding and abetting those who would oppress us and even put us to death.
If this were just a personal matter, it would be sad enough. But a gay man going to a homophobic church hurts all of us.
Now, I agree with “FacebookID=39507466” above that these people should be treated with love and sympathy. But anger is also appropriate. These people need to know that we have good reason to be angry with them.
Posted by: Jim | 10 October 2010 at 14:46
As someone else said, being a church queen is not just a "personal matter". I've had more than one church queen tell me to my face that I was going to burn in hell for being gay. In other words, church queens spread their mental illness, whenever they can to others.
The Bishop Eddie Long is the ultimate church queen. In 2004, the bishop led a mob in the streets of Atlanta against marriage equality. I am quite sure that some of the church queens in Bishop Long's church and other anti-gay black churches participated in that march/mob. Is that a personal matter?
What church queens do is not "benign". They are, in many cases, against LGBT rights including marriage equality. Some of these church queens are (or have been) married to women. I personally know church queens who have recreational sex with women in their churches just to keep the church people from talking about them. Church queens do not deserve our love and acceptance.
A church queen is a gay uncle tom. Nothing fits the title of a gay uncle tom more than a church queen.
Posted by: elg | 10 October 2010 at 16:26
I think everyone deserves love and acceptance. After all, that's what those of us who are out, are fighting for. At the same time, I do see what elg and Jim are angry about because the "church queen" does work against our cause as black gay men. Like stated, they are like uncle toms. But there has to be a way in which we are not militant at them, but yet still forceful in getting them to understand our point. At the end of the day, they are still family. They are just enslaved.
Posted by: Trey | 10 October 2010 at 20:32
I just want to be clear about my earlier comments. I use "church queen" as descriptive term for men who are gay and very attached to homophobic churches. I use "gay Christian" to refer to openly gay men who are Christian-identified. There is a huge difference between the two, as my earlier post makes clear.
I have compassion for church queens. I believe that they have been spiritually and emotionally abused by their churches. This abuse has led to self-hate, low self-esteem, negativity, and other harmful psychological issues. I have and continue to speak with them about their experiences, and I find that many of them are depressed and have high anxiety about their sexuality. I have and continue to suggest that they seek the aid of a good therapist.
At the same time, I cannot condone their behavior and insistence on staying in a negative spiritual relationship. Gone are the days when there were no other options. There are too many churches that are welcoming and accepting for these men to stay in such negative circumstances. For example, I have a friend who attends church where a member regularly says "I feel the demon of homosexuality in this place!" when she sees closeted gay members. Why in the world would you stay in that sort of environment?!? Yet my friend stays. I have had to accept that he either belives these horrible teachings on homosexuality or he is too broken to seek better houses of worship.
As I said, it is 2010 and we need to stop making excuses for these men. Compassion is one thing, enabling these men is another. We need to stop enabling church queens!!
Posted by: Kevjack | 11 October 2010 at 11:00
I am absolutely appauld at the cruelty being perpretrated against people such as myself within this thread. As christian male who has just come to terms with his same sex attraction. I decided to try to resist the desire to act on those feelings because I have a love for Christ that overrides those emotions.
I am personally unable to reconcile my faith with my same sex attraction so I have elected to abstain. Many of your comments are not unsimilar to people who have had friends of every orientation that became born again and forsook their former lives and are criticized by their friends for having done a complete 180 on who they use to be.
Its simply the love for Christ and the desiring to serve him. If being gay isnt n easy life imagine being gay and not acting on those feelings and being criticized by everyone.
Please answer this: Why can't you accept that ex gay people and people who dont act on those feelings exist and are capable of living a happy and fulfilling life. Isnt there room for both trains of thought?
Posted by: terrell | 11 October 2010 at 15:32
Terrell, you have my compassion. It's got to be a hard life having no safe harbor. You also have my sympathy. I can say things to you now but I'll doubt if at this point you will have the ears to hear; but I'll say them anyway. Your sexuality is as natural as breathing. Those who truly love you will continue to do so if you decide to act on your desires. No loving Creator would put such a burden on you. You have got to learn to fully love yourself. There is nothing that you can do that will separate you from the love of God. There is so much more to loving another man then just sex. Things things are just food for thought.
I'm sure some of my brothers may have some issues with you but I understand that you are trying to figure things out. I would encourage you to continue to search your spirit. You may want to speak to a professional therapist or a counselor to discuss your feelings.
Should you decide to stop abstaining, think before you act. Don't go off angry at God and do something foolish. You must act responsibly and practice safer sex. AIDS has no respect of person and is real, but avoidable.
I love you brother and I wish you all the best whatever you decide.
Posted by: FREELEO | 11 October 2010 at 16:09
Mr. Freelo, I thank you for your comments and I appreciate them however, I find that when people throw out terms like mental illness at people who decide to abstain or become ex gay problematic. Its the same rhetoric thats hurled at SGL people. Homosexuality was once treated as a mental disorder and I dont understand why the gay community would hurl such hurtful language at individuals who choose to live a certain way.
Posted by: terrell | 11 October 2010 at 18:15
Terrell
Homosexuality is no longer treated as a mental illness because the psychological and psychiatric evidence showed that it was not. That same evidence demonstrates that "ex-gay" really does not exist and that psychological harm usually comes to people who try to deny their sexual orientation. That's why most of us are disdainful of this "ex gay" "abstaining gay Christian" thing.
You are living in a hell of your own making. You have decided that your sexual orientation is incompatible with loving Christ (and I assume you consider Jesus to be Christ, he never spoke about homosexuality)
You have chosen to listen to homophobic preachers. You have other choices in the spiritual community but you choose to stay where you are.
Posted by: DFS | 11 October 2010 at 20:15
Terrell,
I hear you. I understand where you are and where you're headed. I have very close friends who believe some of the things that you believe, and have a real empathy for their and your plight. Trying to reconcile ones sexual orientation with their supposedly anti-homosexual religion is a tough road to walk...and a false one.
I think what you've read on this thread is both an overwhelming frustration with the population (of which you're representing on this thread)that they feel are not only victims of the harmful homophobia in the church, but also complicit and hypocritical. Those are very real and valid feelings. Do I endorse combating that hate with our own brand of hate? Absolutely not, but I understand it.
"Freeleo" hit it on the head when he said there's a lot more to loving a man than sex. What we've got to do is make certain that we understand that homosexuality is more than gay sex, just like heterosexuality is more than their form of intercourse.
Deep down, you've got to know, that "abstaining" or denying yourself real, true love is a damaging activity that as I believe (my Christ) would not endorse. TRUTH is at the core of Christian faith. Truth starts within oneself...from truth one will find love, and one can neither love oneself or God the way one should if one is continuing to lie to oneself.
Posted by: KBJr. | 11 October 2010 at 22:58
First I would like to thank you all for your comments. You all have given me great food for thought.
Initially I planned to refute many of the claims you all have listed. However, I came to the realization that you believe just as passionately about what you believe as I do and I will never be able to convince you to see things as I do. Or vice versa. Only GOD can change the hearts and mind of men. And he alone judges. Our job is to pray for truth and clarity for ourselves and others.
However, I must say that the truth that I and many like me embrace is a truth not taught by a preacher. It comes from a place of divine conviction.
Finally, if I offended anyone I apologize it wasnt my intent. I just wish that we (church gays etc) could open up a dialogue without hurling insults and find common ground.
Posted by: terrell | 12 October 2010 at 18:06
Eddie Long False Profits
Posted by: QuiMic | 24 October 2010 at 21:32